Lumps

The

Lumps

Appeared

Ten

Days

Ago

All

Over

My

Back

And neck–

Like

Snow.

Only

Worse.

****

My

Doctor

Insists

She can

Pick

Them

Off

As quick

As they

Pop up

If I

Wish.

Like

Pimples–

Only

More

So.

****

Not

A

Difficult

Procedure,

She says.

But

Like

An

Unruly

English

Garden,

She suggests,

Maybe

We

Should

Not

Pull

Them

Up

Just

Yet.

****

But

Accept

Them

For

What

They

Are–

Love

Growths,

She says.

If you

Look

At

Them

Just

Right.

****

A

Little

Bizarre,

Perhaps,

But

Understandable

Given

Your

Strange

Physique

And

Unusual

Nature.

****

Doctor,

But

Even so,

Tell me,

Why

Are

These

Aberrations

Rising

Like

Condominiums

Up

And

Down

My

Spine?

****

What

Does it 

Mean?

****

They‘re

Nothing–

Right?

****

Perfectly

Normal,

Like

Grapes

In a

Colander,

Random

Bumps,

Washed

For

The

Plucking–

Right?

****

Or

Horned

Toads

At

Night

In the

Bouncing

Lights

Of some

Vehicle,

A

Delivery

Truck

Perhaps

Or

An old

VW

Beetle?

***

Yes,

I suspect

That’s

Right,

My doctor

Says

As she

Touches

My

Newfound

Warts

Then

Reaches

For

My

Medical

Chart.

****

That’s

Likely

What

They

Are.

But

Let’s

Wait

And See

If they

Get

Bigger  

And start

To

Move on

Their

Own,

Like 

A new

Set of

Fingers.

****

Meanwhile,

She says,

Press

Them

Down

Inside

Your

Shirt.

This will

Reduce

The

Reptile

Look–

At

First–

And

Who

Would

Figure

You–

Of all

People–

For a

Lizard.

****

And

Don’t go

Swimming

In the

Ocean.

The

Breast

Stroke

May be

A

Problem.

Such

Weight

Will flip

You

Over–

Limbs

Flailing

Like

Some

Upside

Down

Turtle.

****

And

Don’t

Scratch

Them

Open.

Heaven

Forbid!

Your

Back

And Neck

Will be 

Awash

In

Blood

And

Unseemly

Bits

Of

Tissue,

Like

Splashes

On a

Jackson

Pollack

Painting

Or  the

Rearranged

Images

Of a

Cubist

Picasso.

****

Doctor,

That’s

it!

Look

Here

At the 

Bumps 

On

My hip,

Don’t you

Think

They’re

Forming

A drawing

There?

Don’t you

Think

That’s

Something

Weird?

Is that

An 

Outline 

Of

Me

In front

Of a

Mirror

Or

Washington

Crossing

The

Delaware?

****

Well,

She says

At least,

It’s not

Like

With

Everyone

Else–

The 

Divine

Appearance 

Of the

Shroud

Of

Jesus

For me

To

Witness.

****

A

Shroud 

Of

Jesus

Breaking

Out 

On my

Pelvis?

Jesus!

****

Personally,

Doctor,

I hate

The

Thought

Of

Pilgrims

Following

Me

Around

The house.

My

Living

Room is

A wreck,

And

I can’t

Stand

The

Thought

Guests

Coveting

My back

And

Butt

Just

Yet.

****

Perhaps,

My Doctor

Says,

I should

Inspect

Your lumps

More 

Closely.

Please

Get up on

The

Examination

Table.

Go ahead

And

Lie down

There,

Now

More

Horizontal.

Yes, I see!

It’s

Just as  

I thought,

She says

As she

Checks

My back.

You are

Actually

A perfect

Replica,

Spread

Out like

That,

Of the

Santa Anita

Race track

Out in

California.

See the

Rash of

Pink

Thoroughbred

Horses

Flying

Around

The

Corners?

****

But,

Doctor,

Please,

There has

Got to be

An

Explanation

Of what’s

Been 

Happening

To me

This past

Week-and-

A-half.

****

Like

Hieroglyphics!

Maybe

It’s a

Missive

From

Alien

Creatures

Or

Wayward

Priests

From an

Ancient

Civilization–

A greeting

Perhaps

Or a

Dire

Warning

About

My

Family,

God forbid,

Or

The 

World’s

Economy.

****

Like

Druids?

My doctor

Asks.

Say,

Those

Lumps

On your

Shoulder

Look a lot

Like

The

Stonehenge

With

Some of

The

Boulders

Falling

Over.

****

Perhaps,

It will

All

Become

Clearer

With

The Solstice

This year.

You could

Join a

Wild

Celtic 

Cult.

Surely

They 

Will know

Of  similar

Backs

And

How

Others

In their

Tribe

Learned to

Live 

Hunched 

Over

Like

That.

****

Look,

She says

Finally,

At this

Stage

In your

Life,

I suspect

It’s only

Your 

Body

Aging,

Or

Simply

Percolating

As it

Decides

How it

Wants to

Proceed

In the

Years

Remaining.

****

But wait!

She 

Pauses

Suddenly,

Have you

Ever

Seen 

This hand

Written

Comment

On

The

Bottom

Of your

Chart?

****

Your

Previous

Physician

Says

Here:

Your

Father

Died

Back

When

You

Were

Young,

Something

About

Skin…?

****

Yes, but

Seriously

Doctor,

You can’t

Possibly 

Believe

His

Note.

It

Can’t be

Any

More

Relevant

Than

Asking

If I 

Once

Had the

Mumps

Or if

I’ve ever

Seen

A

Ghost.

****

I mean,

What

Exactly

Are you

Telling

Me?

It 

Might be

A genetic

Gift

Courtesy

Of my

Long–

Deceased

Daddy?

No way.

I simply

Won’t

Believe

It.

Rather

Think

It

Must

Be– 

****

–Well, 

Anything

But 

This.

****

Still,

My Doctor

Says,

It’s

Something

We

Should

Consider.

Maybe,

You are

Not

Morphing

Into

A lizard,

After all.

****

Perhaps,

In the

End,

This, 

Then,

Is

Your

Answer,

After all.

****



Categories: Selection: 2010 forward

2 replies

  1. You’re a stitch, Jonathan. What a great imagination you have. I recently saw my dermatologist. It’s not right what they say to old people!

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