I found your grave in the midday sun,

I had grown old–

                               but you were still young.

Like a sad intruder, on my own

I slowly cleared the weeds from your stone

and laid down beside you in the grass– 

the billowing clouds whispering past– 

and thought, how happy we are at last.

 But how could I think something like that?

 –What did you feel about me, in fact?

Oh, I remember so clearly back

when I was young:

                                      our blistering sun.

Back when we loved and learned the lesson 

of living. But when your moment came,

I fled the torture and tearing strain– 

alone in the imminent shock of 

your surrender,

                             then shroud of your love.

Later, when I longed for another, 

the pain I caused faded,

                                             together–

with thoughts of you crying in your grave.

Lying here now, I am unafraid.

I failed you once and pray for what comes:

kind atonement in a blazing sun. 

****

I Found Your Grave in the Midday Sun was originally published in April, 2020 in the Dead Mule School literary magazine.

Categories: Poetry, Selection: 2018